Sometimes I wish that
I would have applied
Myself better at school
Instead of forgetting to,
But I guess it wasn’t all
My fault as my friends
Were just as likely to
Remind me to blank out,
And some of the lessons
Were scheduled to clash
With the nap times that
I’d learned in nursery,
Or were taught by short
Teachers who couldn’t
Reach us or that Physics
Idiot who couldn’t elucidate:
He had the hand writing
Of a chalky footed spider
Drawing its legs sideways
Across the black board,
And with my eyesight
Rapidly falling short of
The tallest letters the
Outcome was bound to fail.
And there are other tales
Of laziness or improper dress
Or dancing on desks with
Mohawks or less hair,
But who knew then that
The most important
Lesson would be keeping
Your contacts freshened:
Because as everybody
Knows it’s not what you’re
Shown that matters but
Who your daddy ran with,
And if this avenue didn’t
Prove fruitful then you
Should have learned how
Scratched backs worked.
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